Log 22 - Voice.

[shooting_blanc]

[The recording opens up to him softly humming Diamond Crevasse.  He cuts himself off at what would be the line "It's long, long goodbye" and lets out an audible sigh.]

Alle... I really could use the rest of that bottle of rum.

...I [he pauses]  ...I always knew in the back of my mind but...  To actually hear it.  I could ignore it before but...

[Another pause, then his voice returns, strained as if fighting back tears]

I guess it really is easier to just not believe...  but at least I...

[he chokes on his next words]

-Finally told her.

[The recording cuts out, ending with the sound of a key being hit exceptionally hard]

Comments

[ttlymostspecial.livejournal.com]

Michel? Are you drunk?

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

...No, but I'm working on it.

[ttlymostspecial.livejournal.com]

What happened?

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

...A rude awakening, you could call it.

[ttlymostspecial.livejournal.com]

Being vague isn't gong to get you anywh423dsfgfffffffffffffffffffff

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

I-

...I don't think I can put it into words properly...

the one who speaks all in riddles- You'll find my reasons on "Neffe's" post.

...It's disconcerting having everything you've told yourself to disbelieve laid out in front of you, isn't it?

private

[ttlymostspecial.livejournal.com]

I... see.

I'm sorry. Sometimes our lives back home hold things we don't want for ourselves, loaded with that knowledge. Maybe that's why it's preferable to live here.

private- strikes deleted

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

It's... not that big of a deal.

I mean... once I get out of here, I'll probably get my ticket into heaven, you know? I bet up there I'll have more women than I know what to do with. And... she knows how I feel, for once...

private

[ttlymostspecial.livejournal.com]

I'd argue that finding out you're going to die sooner than later is a big deal, but you can push that aside if you wish.

Do you act the way you do around most women to repress or disguise your feelings for the one?

private

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

More like I'm probably already dead.

...Close, but no cigar. Not quite ready to leave the watch repair business for psychiatry yet my friend.

private

[ttlymostspecial.livejournal.com]

Then I suppose it's time to get comfortable in Purgatory, if you haven't already.


Haha. I made no claim to be a therapist, I was just wondering.

private

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

Far from it- heaven awaits, after all.

I don't mind- but you at least get the consolation prize for nearly hitting the mark.

private

[ttlymostspecial.livejournal.com]

Good luck.

There's a prize?

private

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'll try to stick around long enough to make sure you learn something from this ordeal too, at least.

Yeah, a lovely flower vase. nevermind the "rum" label on it.

private

[ttlymostspecial.livejournal.com]

Touching.

jacjks trying to be nice n curious... but he fails :P

[ilyblackpearl.livejournal.com]

oh?

and Michel's trying to be chipper... and also failing.

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

Sorry Jack. The rum's all mine tonight.

[bou-san.livejournal.com]

Tough day, huh?

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

Just slightly...

[bou-san.livejournal.com]

It sounds like it.

Do you want to talk about it?

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

Thanks Bou- but minus the hangover, I'm fine now.

[bou-san.livejournal.com]

Ahaha~ Well, I would offer a hangover cure, but I'm out of the ingredients right now.

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

I appreciate the thought, at least.

[bou-san.livejournal.com]

Just rest, and it will go away.

[covert-chord.livejournal.com]

I'm right next door, okay? Remember that, if you want to talk about anything.

Private

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

Thanks Alle. I should be fine though.

Knowing I was able to tell Klan... that's enough for me.

Private

[covert-chord.livejournal.com]

....You learned about your future?

Private

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

What little was left of it, at least.

Private

[covert-chord.livejournal.com]

Mm.

...You can always change it. If you---as long as you weren't an inch away from getting stabbed in the chest or something of the like, you still have the chance to change things.

Private- and he was an inch away from getting stabbed in the chest >.<

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

I'm not worried about that. I gave my life to protect hers.

I've always... known, I suppose. Just wasn't willing to face up to it until now.

Private. Ouch.

[covert-chord.livejournal.com]

Ah.

If...well. I don't know what to say. Perhaps I'm not the best person to be talking about when it comes to accepting death in general.

Private -it's cool, he turned that bug into a fine, bluish mist.

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

Heh, don't worry yourself too much- it's enough to know that you care. Just... don't let your pain destroy you.

Private

[covert-chord.livejournal.com]

Just don't forget that I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. ...I don't intend on letting the situation happen. I have the knowledge now, and I'll---well, regardless. I'm focusing on the present.

Private

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

Same goes to you, of course. Even if it does happen... be strong. No matter how grievous the loss- letting it consume you will just hurt those those around you even more.

Private

[covert-chord.livejournal.com]

I---...Mm. Two losses like that in such quick succession... It's sad, but this place has made me weaker in ways. I rely on the two of them more than I ever did. A year ago, I think I could live through the loss and eventually move on. But so many things have changed.

Private

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you can find the strength you need to stand on your own. ...Think of it as doing it for them- if nothing else. It helps.

[ex-regenera246.livejournal.com]

... are you drinking?

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

Well... now I'm not. Just hung-over.

[ex-regenera246.livejournal.com]

Do you need me to bring you anything?

[shooting-blanc.livejournal.com]

Thank you Claire, but I think we've got something that will do the trick around here...

...Thank you.